Drab Habitation of Whom?
Tabernacle or Tomb –
Or Dome of Worm –
Or Porch of Gnome –
Or some Elf’s Catacomb?
– Emily Dickinson
May 3, 2011
April 17, 2011
March 18, 2011
“It’s every band’s right, you shouldn’t have to do fucking Glee. And then the guy who created Glee is so offended that we’re not, like, begging to be on his fucking show… fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee.
I watched ten minutes. It’s not my thing
The Glee guy, what a fucking jerk. Slash was the first one. He wanted to do Guns ‘n’ Roses and Slash is like, ‘I hate fucking musicals. It’s worse than Grease.’ Then [Murphy's] like, ‘Well, of course he’d say that, he’s a washed up ol’ rock star, that’s what they fucking do.’ And then Kings of Leon say, ‘No, we don’t want to be on your show.’ And then he’s like, ‘Snotty little assholes…’ And it’s just like, Dude, maybe not everyone loves Glee. Me included.”
– Dave Grohl on Glee creator Ryan Murphy’s habit of attempting to beat down musicians to appear on the most awesome TV show ever, then badmouthing them as not worthy of his efforts when they decline.
You know who they all probably would have said yes to, Ryan?
Joss Whedon. Or J.J. Abrams. Or Eric Kripke.
February 26, 2011
“Obviously the cherubs are boys so my thought behind it is that at some point my boys are going to need to look after me and that’s what they’re doing in the picture. Everything has a meaning. It’s just sometimes I wake up and I think, you know, I’ve got an idea of an image I would like on me. Some people love tattoos, some people don’t. It’s just something that I have always found can kind of express how I’m feeling, or the thoughts that I have or memories. Most of my tattoos are memories and things that mean things to me. There’s not one tattoo that I’ve got on me that doesn’t mean something.”
– David Beckham explaining the, um, reasoning behind his new tit tat, which casts him as Jesus getting massaged by his children-as-cherubs.
Unbelievable douche.
February 10, 2011
“Restore 1791. Restore the ideas — not the slavery — don’t be four years old!”
How oh how could giving a national TV platform to a mentally disturbed, serial killer-haired wackadoo with prop comic aspirations and a penchant for playing dress-up not work out in the long term?
January 26, 2011
“Only in America can you be Pro-Death Penalty, Pro-War, Pro-Unmanned Drone Bombs, Pro-Nuclear Weapons, Pro-Guns, Pro-Torture, Pro-Land Mines, and still call yourself Pro-Life.”
“Actual Train Wrecks take all the fun out of Michele Bachmann.”
– actor/comedian John Fugelsang, who’s lately become a notably acerbic and cutting voice for the Left.
January 14, 2011
“I’m tall and almost 230 pounds. I don’t look like I have anything but a big dick compared to someone who’s 5-foot-8-inches. My cock looks larger because it’s on me, but it’s in proportion. I’m tall and thin. I don’t look like I have anything but a big dick standing there. But if you’re only 5-foot-8 with that dick it looks like a monster.”
“I mean, everybody here is 9 to 9 1/2 inches. That’s what they say anyway. It’s bullshit. If you measure it from the asshole, around the back side, then maybe you’re 9 1/2, then everybody is.”
– Rex Chandler, circa 1998
December 12, 2010
“Wow! I mean, my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don’t care. Look, I’m sorry that he’s uncomfortable with it, and that’s all I can say. It only draws more attention to it when you make that kind of legal fuss. Just leave it be.”
– Carrie Fisher discussing John Travolta — currently threatening legal action against Gawker for fanning the flames regarding his alleged penchant for cruising gay spas — in The Advocate.
Cue the Scientology laser rifle sights.
October 1, 2010
September 12, 2010
“Let that realm of God’s spirit just come on you right now.”
– Joshua Mills, consummate virtuoso — child prodigy minister, supernaturally-trained pianist, faith healer, happily married man, father, missionary, divine mouthpiece, songwriter, and Jason Sechrest/Ross Mathews hybrid — enlightening us about God’s humanitarian abilities to teleport the faithful and orthodontically heal the Inuit.
Portugo Is Burning!
