Palinesque adj. 1 having the characteristics of a babbling, shallow cipher.

2 a quality that encourages inexplicable fandom from segments of the populace exhibiting an intense need to have their prejudices and fears legitimized in a public forum by a teased-haired rural caricature.

3 a bizarre form of self-aggrandizement coupled with a terminal lack of self-awareness that can result in difficulty in focusing, an inability to complete tasks, bad pronunciation, and the inclination to depart from certain locales because there are too many Asians.

4 relating to the tendency to use gender, motherhood, and especially children as human shields in order to deflect any and all criticisms about your character and aptitude.

5 a reflexive mindset wherein mass communications trigger a deep-seated paranoia and the corresponding reactionary impulse to lash out via Facebook or Twitter in the manner that a teenage girl would.

6 the perverse habit of insisting to speak on camera despite the fact that visual and aural mediums do not become you. (read the full article)

Investigative journalist Max Blumenthal discusses the Republican closet and the sado-authoritarian culture that produces right-wing evangelicals in his new book Republican Gomorrah.

Full talk here.

Next time anti-gay groups launch a public referendum to strip same-sex couples of their civil rights, I’d like to see a television ad like this as a response:

Two married women and their young children are happily raking leaves in front of a cozy, suburban-style home, laughing as one of the kids leaps into the pile.

Suddenly (cue ominous music), a 40-something man in a business suit, revving up a chainsaw labeled “National Organization for Marriage” steps in front of the house.

He raises his chainsaw, and with a mad leap and a dash he barrels toward the terrified family, then past them toward the home, breaking through the front door with a powerful kick.

The family helplessly pursues, and the camera follows the attacker in to document his rampage: “Say goodbye to your partner’s health benefits!” he shouts as he obliterates the sofa.

(read the full article)

You know, sometimes you gotta switch it up.

Personally, my ladder of jerk-off fodder goes as follows: porn stars at the top rung, followed by TV stars, then movie actors, the douches from Tool Academy battling it out with the date rapists from Hot Chicks With Douche Bags for the fourth tier, then pro wrestlers, pro athletes, and finally politicians at ground level if I’m feeling all father complex-y (“Tell me I’m good…”). You need your bit players to play Greek Chorus or maybe fill in as extras in the gang bang of your mind. It’s just thorough casting.

Nobody’s ever going to accuse the GOP of being especially dollsome. If the last six months of watching wizened geezers riff off bad ’70s sci-fi movie plots in order to disparage universal health care, pudgy ex-junkies endlessly turn on the waterworks, jowly crumedgeons treat a Supreme Court nominee like inept hired help, and eye bags welling up during mea culpa press conferences haven’t left you holding your balls, then you’re a better man than I.

Still, we at Nightcharm do love our Mormon dick-baiters and their Daddy’s Boy broods. They’re like our take on Catholic School Girls: utterly hackneyed, infantilely coy, and prerequisite fixtures in the mix who may not get the heaviest of rotations, but who play well in a pinch. (read the full article)

Hat tip to Nightcharmer Don G.

It was with deep shock and regret that Shawn Baker’s popular Alexyss K. Tylor deconstruction was waylaid, only days after it debuted on Nightcharm, back in August of 2007. As quick as the above clip had appeared on YouTube it was yanked down. Leaving our tribute de-balled and stranded! Well, imagine our glee when a savvy reader notified us that the clip had reappeared. This prompted a mad dash to republish this golden moment in Queer Sex Ed history. And so we did. Enjoy! David K./Publisher

If you’re young, gay, and/or hard up for bucks, you may very well fall prey to whoring married men and lecherous geezers who are rabid for cock. Alexyss K. Tylor — cable access hostess of the Atlanta-based Vagina Power and YouTube sensation — is ready to bust some ass wide open and expose the urban skin trade … with a vengeance. Gay Boys Beware!

Alexyss (you know you’re in for something good just based on that spelling) is a modern kind of gal who teaches us that our gonads are essential factors in our self-actualization.

She reminds me of a Liberal Arts school sociology professor and that lady in Times Square who warns me that the Rapture is nigh. Alexyss seems fueled by a perfect balance of anger and highly-functioning craziness. (read the full article)

It’s your spin at the Republican Wheel of Disgrace. How will you publicly crash and burn while comparing yourself to a famous Biblical figure and mitigating all your anti-Clinton sanctimony?

Campaign finance and lobbying fraud are so 2003.

Humiliating your leopard print-clad wife by banging whores, jetting off to Argentina for an Emmanuelle-style tryst, or getting Mommy and Daddy to pay off your mistress entails so many press conferences.

Kid-fucking is the forte of the Catholic Church and those creepy Little House On The Prairie Mormon compounds.

At this point, the only unpardonable GOP transgression is the gay scandal, so have at tripping over every other closet case in that rat race.

South Carolina Lieutenant Governor André Bauer[top pic] (kudos on maintaining the “how ethnic” acute accent) is just the latest potential pink flamingo in a party of old hawks, falling somewhere between Troy King and Charlie Crist. Frankly, his outing by blogger Mike Rogers leaves me torn. Sure, he’s sorta hot by GOP standards — meaning he looks more like a car salesman than a banker — but there are higher limbo bars. (read the full article)

A classic Sacha Baron Cohen moment from the old Ali G show. This is the dorkier, less polished Bruno that we know and love. “Right, I love Romans!”

Legalized same-sex marriage. The G.O.P. in shambles. A biracial Democrat — in Republican parlance, a foreign devil — in the White House.

White, entitled, angry Christians are apparently the new self-appointed minority. And they’re not taking it well.

We’ve been there. It’s tough being an underclass. You’ve had to bear the burden for a whole three months. Still, you need to parcel out your vitriol. Otherwise, you run the risk of hitting the wall.

Don’t get us wrong — your White Panic is rabidly visceral, but it just seems so unfocused. We can tell you from experience that you have to pick your battles. Frankly, we can’t keep all the splinter groups — Birthers, Teabaggers, God Warriors, Minute Men, and Purity Ringers — straight. It all just looks like a torch-wielding crowd of villagers ready to storm Castle Frankenstein to us. (read the full article)

What’s an out-of-power, out-of-answers, out-of-date party to do?

Coherence hasn’t really been the G.O.P.’s thing for decades, and reality used to be a friend back when the party was composed of level-headed Main Street businessman, rather than snake-handling soothsayers. Now that it’s degenerated into a televangelist take on the Mansion of Madness, there’s a power vacuum left in its “permanent majority” (oy, the Rovian hubris!) wake. The Grand Old Party needs a new face.

You can’t flip this whack shack; you can only superficially paint it up all purdy-like.

Since beauty queens are as anachronistic as all the anti-gay rhetoric the party recycles with eye-rolling monomania, there’s something quaintly apt about a teased-haired, glazed-eyed stiletto doll becoming the Conservative It Girl of-the-moment. In I Shot Andy Warhol, Lily Taylor‘s bellicose, up-against-the-wall-motherfucker Valerie Solanas disdainly opined that beauty queens and drag queens were the two ideal victims of male oppression. And the lady knew her shit. (read the full article)

A storm is, indeed, gathering.

This is the opening line of a spooky and deeply mendacious ad from NOM, the so-called National Organization for (actually against) Marriage.

(You can, if you must, see this infuriating ad here. But wait, we have some spoofs of the ad coming after the jump. No need to get your blood up yet.)

Beneath dark, brooding clouds, their faces eerily lit by sudden flashes of lightning, actors fret over the coming gay-marriage legalizations, which threaten their very existence. You see everyone is about to call them bigots, which, of course, they are.

And that would be “just hurtful,” to use the words of Maggie Gallagher, founder of the hastily concocted NOM and the right’s longtime cheerleader and self-described “marriage expert,” a political and transparently theocratic front-woman for that very special brand of Republican wedge-issue: fag-baiting. (read the full article)

Commence panicked fagmentation in 3, 2, 1…

The source: trusted news outlet Fox. The issue: the gay. Highly respected journalist Bill O’Reilly is so with-it and up-to-date that the realization that the queers are infiltrating the American Idol stage is big news. For somebody. But not him. Maybe you?

Sure, Fox’s entertainment branch has a massive financial stake in promoting the program ad nauseum, and yes, you may think that a supposed reporter pretending to condescend to cover such an obvious plug makes him a hack, and maybe Bill’s attempt at casual objectivity is as thinly-veiled as his hair. The point is, there’s a real issue here. We guess. Bill’s not really sure either.

If you were a cynical person, you might ponder how exactly do you spur a Gay Panic reaction out of an exploitive non-story while struggling to maintain your feigned disinterest about how trivial the subject you’re reporting on really is. First, you need a performer whose Emo-ish, vaguely panssexual appearance threatens you on a visceral level, especially when photos — which you make sure to brand “embarrassing” — of him lip-locking with another glam rock enthusiast come to the fore. (read the full article)