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| DK: Does Aphrodite, the goddess of love and lust make an appearance within male/male sex?
VP: There's always an interplay of the male and the female in sexuality, even in a male/male relationship or female/female. It's part of the energies of any union; it's essentially like a plug fitting into a socket. What projects out is the male principal and what allows in is the female principal. DK: So Aphrodite is present in all relationships? VP: Yes. You don't have any pairing without some feminine element there. I think male/male sex -- fiery to firey -- ram to ram -- can have a charge in it; but I think if a relationship is to be sustained between two men, then the feminine principal enters the picture. In a full bodied relationship, where sex and love intertwine, the female principal becomes the glue that holds the relationship together. DK: Within New Age rhetoric Aphrodite is always referred to as a nice, pink, fluffy, Hallmark card-like force -- Venus and cupid and all of that. But in actuality... VP: She can be gnarly and ravenous... DK: Yes, as a goddess she was very lusty and randy and she took multiple lovers. Astrologically the planet Venus represents the relating principal as well as the deep, passionate, lusty expression of one's sexuality. VP: Yes; consider the reality of multiple orgasms. And many a woman has been accused of being a bottomless pit of desire. The DK: You once said to me that you were a bit jealous about gay male sexuality and it's multiplicity of possibilities? With a male couple we've two mouths, two penises, two buttholes... VP: Yeah, and two phobias about intimacy. DK: What do you mean by that? VP: Well, I'm addressing the male's inadequate emotional equipment -- you know, the fear in men of appearing feminine -- whether they're gay or not. Emotions are equated with the female and nobody wants to be called a girl, whether they're a fairy or not. DK: So, what about sexual equipment envy? Dare I say "penis envy?" VP: Well, yes there was that one photo you had up on Nightcharm last week. You could see this one guy licking the other guys asshole like it was a vagina, but then there was this big cock -- which reminded me of a giant clit -- attached to that "vagina." So I could see the hermaphroditic aspect of gay lovemaking. The androgyny of it. It's like that old Certs ad: "Two! Two mints in one." The penis and vagina in one. Gay men get to play out both polarities. Lesbians don't get to have two penises included in the set, they just have two holes. But men have a hole and rod, and that's not fair. [Laughing] So there is a little envy, because [loudly] I want a penis? DK: Why do you think gay men are fixated on the phallus? VP: Well, I can only answer that as a woman. I think when a woman enters into a relationship with a man she is trying to make peace with her own inner male, her own sense of will, assertion, and steadfastness. She looks at the man and she sees her own male there and she wants to imbibe it and take it in to deeply connect with it. She wants the sacred union within herself. She wants to be man/woman. I feel everyone wants this kind of inner union. Everyone wants to come together inwardly. So the woman hankers for the penis. The penis comes in and she is complete -- for a moment. And the penis longs to put itself into a socket, and when it's in that socket it feels complete -- be it vagina or asshole. DK: Sounds very Jungian or Freudian or Somebody-ian. VP: I'm sure gay men also sense this need for completion. It must be that each male, in a gay male relationship, is still searching for his penis -- or more precisely, each male is seeking his father. DK: What about male female roles within a gay male relationship? VP: Well, the gays I know don't like the butch and fem idea -- mainly because it's embarassing for the one that's fem, because again, there's this unspoken shame associated with the feminine, which frankly, pisses me off. DK: Why? VP: It's just our culture's wholesale rejection of Aphrodite, in countless overt and subtle ways. Somehow it's shameful to be female, to represent the female in any way; be it through passivity, softness or surrender. Even feminism rejects the feminine. I find some aspects of feminism to be extremely phallic. So what if a woman wants to lay in her backyard and eat bon bons and not contribute to society. Why does everything have to be about doing, doing, doing -- penetration, penetration, penetration? DK: Is there any truth in the cliché that gay men are more attuned to the feminine? VP: I think gay men are more attuned to the feminine. I do find gay men more psychologically available, more emotionally tender and more willing to explore the mysteries of life; and certainly much more verbal, which is what women long for in men. It is terrible that so many of these fabulous men in the world are gay --[laughing] for me, I mean -- terrible for me. DK: I remember you and I were watching a Kristen Bjorn video recently and you were exclaiming -- during the protracted cum shots: "Oh my god, look, that's where life begins." Why do you think cum shots are so critical in porn? What is it about cumming that fascinates us so? VP: When a man cums it's like telling the world, "I'm alive, I'm here, I have sperm which creates life." It's playing God. I think it's the one instance where human beings see something in themselves that is God-like and can create life. DK: Were you as fascinated as I was watching the cum shots in the VP: I'm not so impressed with cum, to be honest. Men are impressed because it's a literal emblem of their potency and power. But woman is the stage upon which the drama of life is enacted. So I'm much more interested in my own plumbing. But I like cum. It's an alchemical elixir and fun to play with. It's just not as important to a woman as it is to a man. DK: Our culture's obsession with the literal -- having to see, touch and taste things -- seems to be a key here. Life is a mystery, sex is a mystery and cum is both a by-product and player in that mysterious dance. You can actually see it, it's like a liquid answer to the meaning of life question. VP: [Laughing] I think that because men feel in awe of a women's power to create --if not consciously, then certainly unconsciously -- they need to keep seeing their cum -- preferably on a daily basis. This originates from a deep feeling of being out of the loop. A guy just keeps cumming and cumming as an affirmation that he can create something. This is also why most of the world's great artists, writers, architects, gurus are men, etc. Not for lack of talent on the part of women, mind you, but from a simple lack of interest. Women simply are creativity, in their very nature; and men somehow have to prove creativity. DK: I find a lot of the "money shots" [cum scenes] in straight porn disturbing. Just about every video has a required scene where a group of guys encircle a woman, jerk off frantically and then cum all over her face, tits and stomach. VP: Well first, in regards to that term "money shot," this is just so totally American. Everybody wants the pay-off, everything is so orgasm oriented. This is what's so frustrating for women in sex with men. Women want the process -- they don't want the product. And we have such a material culture, it's all about: "Boom! Give it to me right away. Give me the pay off. Show me the money." Process isn't honored in our culture at all. DK: But metaphorically speaking, what do you think about these circle jerk/cum drenching scenes I was talking about? VP: Well, finally, for a minute or so, and on film no less, a guy can conquer nature. Woman represents this huge, mysterious, frightening natural force. So for once, if enough guys can encircle her while she's supine and drench her in cum --for that moment man will have put nature in it's place. DK: But what about in gay porn, where there's a group of men cumming on another male actor? VP: Oh, that's just football. DK: What about women viewing gay porn? Do straight women want to see naked men, and do they want to see naked men sucking and fucking each other? VP: To be honest, when I look at gay pornography, I look at it as a curiosity because it's not directed towards me. It's directed for men towards men. So, another man is the object, not me. So I don't feel included particularly. Those men aren't wanting Aphrodite, they're not reaching with their penises towards the feminine. They're reaching towards each other. So it's a bit solipsistic. It's like watching someone masturbating. DK: What about some of the letters I receive from woman talking about how much they enjoy watching men getting it on with each other?
DK: But as a pornographic process, in place to eroticize or titillate, it doesn't do anything for you? VP: I've only seen your web site, which is beautiful. I don't really surf the web looking for porn. From an aesthetic point of view I love Nightcharm; and all the pictures you've displayed are really beautiful and emulate male beauty. But I'd much rather curl up with some well written erotica. DK: So you just like the solo male model photos -- naked, buff and erect -- available just for you? VP: [Laughter] No, I don't mind men with each other with their gleaming penises. I'm just excluded. It's like when I was living in Seattle's gay district, Capitol Hill, all of that male energy buzzing in the environment wasn't for me. So the Aphrodite in me weeps -- she wonders, "What about me?" Actually, she just weeps in general, especially in relation to gay male porn. It's like a fraternity that have banded together to say no to Aphrodite in mass. DK: Maybe it's saying "no" to Mama. VP: Yes. Although this reminds me of an insight I had the other day after studying a lot of your blow job pictures in Nightcharm's Zip storage. You know, in infancy the mother's nipple in the baby's mouth is proportionately as big as one of those penises in an adult's mouth. So I can't help but seeing men, or women for that matter, sucking men off as a movement to get back to mama's breast. It's the nipple all over again, not to mention that white, creamy, milk by-product. A baby has to suck hard and for along time, initially, to get the mother's milk to come down. So, well, you figure it out. So on the surface, yes, there is that blanket rejection of the mother with gay men, but then on the deeper, psycho-sexual levels there's still that movement to reenact the mother/baby relationship, which as Freud said was the underpinning of our polymorphous sexuality. It's primal wiring, hetero or homo. DK: So the mother is a problem within gay sexuality? VP: I think men in general feel overwhelmed by women. First there is The Mother as the primary object in childhood and then there is nature itself as Mother Nature --omnipresent, all powerful, unavoidable. I feel for men and their fear of being completely engulfed by the feminine. So culture and civilization rises up to overcome nature and it's just this huge wrestling match between nature and civilization. And the Greeks, come on! It was the beginning of modern civilization and all these guys are banded together on their side of the swimming pool sucking each other off and the women are on the other side going, "Huh, what!?" DK: Well, nature -- the creative principal and by association women -- can feel terrifying, because it's so mysterious, unfathomable. Look at how hard science keeps working to crack the code. VP: I think what's happening is that civilization is becoming such a force in it's own right that maybe nature and civilization will balance each other out. Maybe things will chill out now. And maybe there was a need for that male principal to rise up and balance the omnipresence of the feminine. It's seems part of the perfection of things to move towards balance. I mean, Aphrodite wants a consort, she doesn't want to rule and stomp down. She wants to love. |
a p h r o d i t e 
vagina is open for business -- but the penis in question has to prove itself worthy. Not just any penis will do. After all the vagina is making an investment here, I mean, the man can flee the union but the woman holds the man inside, long after he's ejaculated. 
video? They were so spectacular. I asked Kristen once how those guys churned out so much and -- duh, he told me that's three or four days worth of jism -- each scene takes a week to shoot.
VD: Well, I think the penis is beautiful. I love all of those gleaming, erect penises. As a work of art the penis is the fleshy equivalent of Michelangelo's David.