Jim Buck It had been over a decade since Ignatz left his squalid little abode near Yermolayev Lane in the dizzying madhouse that was and is Moscow. Today, the sight of his old bedroom -- a converted bomb shelter with a government-issue sofa bed -- brought a tear to his eye and a spring to his groin. "So many memories I have of comrade Ivan Ivanovich Leproskaya and I on this little tiny bed in Yermolayev Lane. I will masturbate, then we will drink from the samovar to honor his memory."
	Heather Corinna This is so not what I meant when I said I wanted some exposed brick. That guy isn't even packing masonite, for crying out loud.
	John Calendo That is, I believe, wallpaper behind him. Raised wallpaper. Embossed raised wallpaper. And what is that list up on the wall? Is this a lobby? Is he sitting on a bench, draped in a sheet, in the lobby of an apartment building? So this is what the doorman does when he finishes the TV Guide crosswords..
	.David K They can't fool me. That isn't real brick. Here we're on the set of the new and improved Jerry Springer Show. And that's, no doubt, Jerry's first guest of the new season. The topic of the moment being: "Men Who Love Western Shirts and Jewelry...and the Men Who Love Them." I can't wait.