Grasping the Obvious
It's enough to confuse the most loyal of straight guys:
Why do all those cover guys from fitness mags like
Men's Workout keep turning up in gay porn publications and videos?
Jacques Strappe writes an open letter to one publication to find out.
Dear Men's Workout,
As a devoted fan of your magazine, I have a few questions.
Why do many of your exercise models advertise in local publications that have nothing to do with exercise? They also offer one-on-one training sessions, and yet you don't provide their contact information in your magazine. Why?
Some of them even seem to have different names. You should look into this typographical problem.
For instance, The January 2002 issue features a model whom I have seen before, Brett Mycles.
He seems to do muscle therapy work, since all the other men's workout videos I've seen him in show him working out with scrawny young gentlemen.
Brett Mycles seems to wait to work his penile muscles until the end of his workout, but usually alone. In a sports men's exercise workout video, he included the penile release workout session, but did not combine his workout with his partner, like most of the other trainers do. Is his workout complete?
Another amusing men's workout video called Jackhammer includes some workouts, but only the last one with Brett Mycles. When I want a group men's workout video, I expect the instructor to offer lessons.
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Other models offer some inconsistent role modeling:
I was inspired by Personal Trainer Joe Reitano's tale of overcoming asthma, and how he was able to enjoy a full sports and fitness lifestyle.
His full exploit in penile vascular development in one men's workout video proved quite inspirational. His upper abs sit-down crunch in your magazine was only outdone by his testicular tension flares, which regularly expand my scrotal section when relaxing from a strong, hard men's workout session.
He also shows in a few videos how one can combine a muscle relaxation therapy with hygiene, for a full transitional cooling period.
I find, however, that the workout hygiene space gets too crowded whenever I try this combination therapy.
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I am also wondering about a sort of facial cream that your workout models use.
One in particular, in a men's workout video which was not advertised in your magazine, included a yoga stretch that culminated in the self-application of regenerating cream by a very flexible model for Men's Workout.
Do you have a bias against Eastern exercise regimens? I wondered, since a lot of gyms don't have open space for stretching.
But some manage to stretch themselves and others in many ways. For example, your fitness model Marco Maniello, who says in his photo feature, "I concentrate on squeezing the muscle being 
worked, and am careful to do each repetition slowly."
I did notice in some videos where I also saw him working as Marco "Rossi," inflaming his pectoral response with nipple massage. His anal stimulation with training partner Zack Spears (in the video License To Thrill), has yet to be included in one of your issues, but it has become a favorite routine for me.
Marco also displays a lot of vertical hip flexes, really great jaw building partnered men's workouts that allow the partner to accelerate blood flow.
Many more exhausting routines resemble tumbling, but held still, and Marco seems to prefer flexing and releasing his quads, glutes and hams in a very rapid, piston-like manner. This doesn't look careful or slow to me.
Often, at the end of his men's workout videos, he applies a cream to his workout partners. I wonder if that cream is hypoallergenic or organic.
I went to one of Marco Rossi's live men's workout seminars, and it was rather educational. He began with a light aerobic routine, then a skin-refreshing nude leg stretch. He offered personal training tips for many of the audience members, most of whom, sadly, were in need of muscular salvation.
When he gave me a more close-up sample of his gluteal development for inspiration, I inquired about some men's workout personal training in private.
He promptly agreed. I racked my brain trying to remember if Men's Workout had offered tips on Marco Rossi's workout routine. Would I be fit enough for the sports lifestyle? At $200 an hour, I'd better be!
It seems I was.
And his home workout program is so different, with a lot more gluteal stimulation on his part. In fact, I think his letting me practice a home prostate massage on his sphincter (like the one he received in Total Corruption) was truly educational. I feel like I have truly dug deep into the new depths of muscular development and relaxation.
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But the major question I have is why, since in the men's workout videos the partners thoroughly exercise their ejaculatory function, gluteal region, and big horse-choking cocks, then why do you not include these functions in the Men's Workout magazine?
I believe that several levels of the advanced workout, such as double-cock penetration cocks dripping in skin-squenching lubricant in and out of thoroughly douched anally hygiened puckerholes, would be a welcome addition to your magazine.
I have tried a few times to combine the Men's Workout magazine routines with the men's workout anal and penile male duo sessions at the gym, but too many guys are into it, and the management at this facility asked us not to not do it on the floor.
Later, in the showers, a lot of other guys seemed to be highly trained in the techniques, but I wondered why, like your magazine, they only do them in some places.
I find it difficult to recognize which of the videos advertised in your magazine offer thorough workouts or less complete men's workouts. They seem exactly the same, yet I am on a limited budget.
I want a full workout, and my girlfriend says my complexion has really cleared
up, too, since the cream facials at the gym.
So could you make your magazine more complete and thorough? It would probably sell a lot of magazines.
Oh, also my girlfriend says the leopard skin mesh thong I ordered in the back of the magazine is too small, so where can I return it if they're no longer in business?
Photo credits: Jackhammer vid cap © Jet Set Productions,
Joe Reitano © Ounique, Inc.
Marco Rossi vid cap from Total Corruption © VCA/HIS Video.
