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When I approached Nightcharm's video reviewer Iain Jackson and vintage queer porn aficionado, BJ (from the wildly eclectic blog/site BJ's Gay Porno-Crazed Ramblings) about compiling a tally of their absolute, hands-down, top ten queer porn vids of all time, I already intuited what their final tallies would read like. And sure enough, once submitted, more than 90% of the vids/films they lovingly listed were from the 70s and 80s. Hmmmm...
Like me, both gentleman are mature enough to recall the nascent days of the art form. But unlike me they both stay informed with what contemporary porn studios are producing and distributing to the market. So I don't think it's an age bias, or a hankering for the "good ole days" sort of prejudice, that colored their picks. I don't watch much porn -- an occupational hazard? -- but I'm a rabid fan of videos and films from the early 70s and very early 80s. Why? Creativity. Spunk. Aplomb. Balls. The marriage of art, porn and an outlaw spirit was a given in the works of renegade directors like Joe Gage, Steve Scott and Al Parker, to name just a few of the men who consistently rocked and rolled in the giddy, pre-condom, days of queer cinematic raunch.
What does this say, I wonder (and you should too, if you're a consumer) about the videos being churned out produced today? What's happened to the art and the soul? And, too, if you're a budding queer yourself, who doesn't recall many of the classics listed below, don't you think it behooves your libido and lube supply to start, uhm, boning up on these classics -- and see what you're missing? I do. And so do our wise commentators.
As well as offering their picks, I also asked each gentleman to list their criteria for greatness. This they did, followed by their top tens.
So, pull out your remote and let's hit: 'Play.'
......................--David K.
Iain's criteria:
A story that works. More often than not, you want to see the sex and the guys -- the narrative is that stuff that you usually fast forward through. Sometimes, though, you want something to engage your mind at a more conscious level. Something to hook hard into your fantasies, your imagination.
A certain style. Most video directors have a style of their own. Joe Gage's "let's get all the guys together" technique (like a really dirty filthy Andy Hardy movie), spare but effective. ChiChi LaRue's surpassing raunchiness. Blue Blake and his (apparently mostly straight) bodybuilders. Michael Lucas, his international cast and New York. Kristen Bjorn of the impressive production values, international and muscular cast, locations around the world, and a million come shots (like a spunky 1812 Overture).
The guys. I prefer guys a little older than your pornvid average, and I prefer some sort of acknowledgement that this country and others contain someone besides buff body-shaven white guys.
The sex. Well, duh.
Repeatability and other intangibles. Most videos, you see them once, you're done. A good/great video pulls you back to experience it again.
BJ's criteria:
Plot. Nothing too intricate, as few, if any porno actors can handle more than two lines in a row or more than two facial expressions. But something that keeps you watching the non-sex stuff, and keeps your hand off the remote. Sexual tension needs to build -- on the screen and in your hand -- something that makes you wonder just how the sex will finally get going. After that first whack-off, you need something to build in order to get that next throbbing hard-on.
Sound. There has to be something erotic within the soundtrack itself. If you have to turn the sound off to enjoy the movie, it's trash. But a good musical soundtrack -- original music like Joe Gage's haunting theme in his Trilogy, or the way Steve Scott integrates some not-too distant radio playing in the background -- and a blend of the actor's moans and groans (genuine, not overdubbed repeating loops!) with real sound like the cars on a highway during a truckstop blowjob -- you get the idea -- the sound must add to the erotic experience, not take away from it.
Men who like sex with men. First, they gotta be adults -- seems obvious, but if I'm wondering if they are jailbait, I can't get a woody. More important, they must actually enjoy what they are doing and it shows -- not just a hardon and a cumshot (of course those are mandatory); if they look like they are looking off camera at a Hustler pin-up, it'll make my skin crawl. Even in the too-often used delineation of tops and bottoms, tops need to grab the other guy's cock, and bottoms need to show some interest in the top's ass.
Playfulness. If the actors aren't displaying a sense of fun, the director should be. It's OK to laugh during a porno movie, just like during sex, as long as it's with the movie, not at it. "I've never done this" followed by a quick dropping to the knees and drooling mouth can work!
And without further delay -- or blowharding -- the top ten queer video/films of all time:

Fallen Angel 4 - Sea Men
Sea Men features the handsome, talented and just a bit scary Dred Scott as the lead star. Adriano Marques makes a brief return: bigger, beefier, older, grayer -- and much more attractive. Deliberately designed to invoke, but not imitate, Fassbinder's Querelle, the video features men roaming San Francisco's waterfront, looking for sex. Striped sailor uniforms echo Querelle's costuming (the Navy and Merchant Marine would take a very dim view of these uniforms); and the lurid, saturated colors are unusual for a leathersex video.

Dred Scott sees who and what he wants and takes them -- with his dick, with his fist, or other implements. In the final scene, Scott and the older Adriano Marquez engage in hard, mutually desired sex -- including hot wax and a few other SM accoutrements; it's really obvious that they enjoy each other, which is something you don't see in porn as often as you should.
The sex throughout the video is spectacular, featuring many well built men having kinky, sweaty, messy fun. Titan's "No twinks here" attitude is plainly in evidence -- except for what turns out to be the kinkiest scene in the vid -- featuring Core Andrews, clothespins, golden showers, maybe a violet wand or two, and, oh yes, a wee bit of scrotal inflation.
Available on VHS and DVD in a retail cut (minus the kink and the behind-the-scenes bits) or a director's cut.
--Iain Jackson
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Big Guns
From director William Higgins, Big Guns is probably the last big hit gay porno movie actually made on film. I was never much of a Higgins fan because his camera work is often just too close for comfort, but here he seems more comfortable with letting us enjoy his models from a slight distance, and viewing whole bodies as opposed to mere body parts. That alone isn't enough, of course, but with the help of Costello Presley's music, each scene gets a chance to build. The stand-outs here are the seduction scenes, but the juxtaposition of the pure sex of the Chad Douglas/Kevin Wiley scene make them all that much better. Kevin "oh I can't walk" Wiles describes his romp with Mr. Egan (a fun allusion to the old Falcon loop Mr. Egan Gets His Paperboy). You can't help but laugh at the idea that the poor boy can barely walk just because of a simple suck and fuck, but then when you see the pounding he gets, you appreciate Wiley's dedication to his profession. It's not just that Douglas has a big thick cock, but you get the full benefit of seeing his cock throbbing as he pauses several times before again thrusting down Wiley's throat, and pulling completely out many times while fucking to see just what blissful agony Wiley is going through.

Next is perhaps the most erotic sex scene of the 80's, marvelous Johnny Davenport's seduction of Chris Gray. Chris stumbles upon John's gun, and John takes Chris down to the rifle range to learn how to use the weapon. He stands behind Chris, helping him hold and aim the gun, which turns them both on after a few shots are fired. They turn, kiss slowly and passionately. Suddenly back home, the kissing continues, until Johnny gets on his knees and pulls down Chris's pants. Four minutes may not seem like a long time, but in remote control land, you have to be real good to allow that much time to pass in a scene before we see flesh. Davenport's notoriously far flung cumshots are well-captured here, and you'll be grateful for the slow-mo camerawork.
--BJ
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Mardis Gras Cowboy
Essentially a comic remake of Midnight Cowboy (thankfully without the blink-and-you'll-miss-it rape scene that starts the latter film), featuring Nightcharm contributor Jim Buck.

Good sex comedies are hard to make -- difficult to laugh and wank at the same time -- and this is a good sex comedy. Vidkid Timo overplays his role just right, the sex scenes are great, and the story works in support of the sex, and vice versa; neither one gets overwhelmed. It's clearly shot on something only slightly larger than a shoestring budget, but because the characters are supposed to be young poor drifters -- that works in service of the story.
--Iain Jackson
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The Biggest One I Ever Saw
This isn't top ten material merely because Bill Harrison assembled some of the biggest (and best) in the business, but because these men work well together, and deliver. How often have you been disappointed when your favorite stars are paired with men they clearly aren't turned on by, and the sex just doesn't quite get you going? The Biggest One If Ever Saw features two men -- real-life lovers Lee Ryder and Rod Phillips -- lying in bed stroking their big tools talking about other guy's big dicks. That's the plot. Actually, if you really pay attention to the soundtrack, there's much more. At first it might seem like a typical dreamy soundscape with dirty talk and barely audible narrations by the pair, but listening closely, you get the real story -- these two men tell each other they weren't gay before they met each other, and share sex stories of other guys getting it on. But watching, you see how often they actually get caught up in the (sex) act, too.

The amazing Jon King brings out the best in Rick "Humongous" Donovan and Lee Ryder in onc scene, and Cole Taylor and Steve Collins in another (King doesn't even undress in this one, his mouth is that good). Who doesn't like seeing big-dicked men like Ryder eating cock? Speaking of which, how could I forget the sight of huge Dave Connors (arguably bigger than Donovan) chowing down on Rod Phillips's meat? Director Harrison won't give you the inevitable fuck just then, you have to wait until later in the film to see Connors taking it up the ass, as Harrison prefers his film to weave the stories in and out as we watch and listen to Ryder and Phillips whack off and share stories, interrupting each other, remembering more details.
Originally from Giant Films, distributed by VCA/HIS; now appears to come from Sierra Pacfic.
--BJ
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The Wakefield Poole Collection
combining Boys in the Sand, Boys in the Sand II and Bijou.
I freely admit, I'm pulling a fast one here, in a way that will aggravate everyone. Purists will rail at me for ranking Boys 1 and/or Bijou this low (I am serenely ignoring Boys II); modernists will wonder what the hell they are. Boys in the Sand is perhaps the best film Casey Donovan ever made, the one that established him as gayporn's golden boy and object of worship, and worship him -- Wakefield Poole's camera certainly does. Boys may be perhaps the most influential film in all of gayporn -- it was the first major queer video release. Few directors ever tried to have their camera adore a subject as blatantly as Poole's adored Donovan, and fewer still succeeded. (For all that Donovan is magnificently gorgeous in Boys, my favorite video for how he himself looked is Steve Scott's Non-Stop. But I digress.
Bijou, on the other hand, is a pure example of style over sexual substance, but just barely. It's still hot, even if it might not get you off, and it's fascinating to watch. Poole's camera fetishizes Bill Harrison and his enormous schwanzstucker just as extensively as it did Casey Donovan, but in a very different way -- something like an acid flashback, really.
I'm picking the Collection rather than the individual videos. Why? First, because the Collection did a great job of restoring the videos; you won't see better video copies out there. Second, because the Collection has commentary by Poole, as well as an additional interview between Jerry Douglas and Poole.
--Iain Jackson
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Turned On
If you need only one reason for this to be in the top ten, it's obviously Al Parker. But you get three reasons: Al Parker, expert cocksucking, and jockstraps -- better yet, you get Al parker in a jockstrap, sucking cocks that just so happen to be bulging out of other jockstraps.
About a dozen men or more (we never see their faces) stand with their jockstraps at eye level while we watch Al take his turn on one, then Sky Dawson on another, back and forth as loads shoot high, faces plunge under balls, and bulging jockstraps fill the screen. Al knows his face is superbly photogenic, but he's not a camera hog. He knows how to position himself so that we get the benefit of a full view of hard cock and full balls, or eager ass waiting for his mouth.

And director Steve Scott has the expertise to capture every ass profile, and every drop of precum or cum flying high or dribbling down Al's bearded chin. And there's more! Dirty talkin' J. W. King eating out, then plowing Sky Dawson's ass; Beau Matthews getting fucked by Dawson and pulling his cock out of his jockstrap just in time to share his cumshot with us; Parker ball-fuckin' some lucky dude; and Scott Taylor's amazing self-suck and swallow performance.
Was distributed by Le Salon -- but seems to be unavailable at this time.
--BJ
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Games
Directed by Steve Scott, and featuring Al Parker as a photographer at the 1984 Gay Olympics (as they were then known), and Leo Ford as one of the swimmers. (I'm especially fond of Mike Davis' turn as the somewhat piggy -- or at least very greedy and a mite unethical -- swim coach.) At the time Games was released, both Al and Leo were big big BIG! Giorgio Canali plays an Italian commentator, and he and Al Parker have one terrific scene together -- one which takes place only in each of their minds. Although the concluding Al/Leo scene certainly lives up to its billing, I actually prefer all of the scenes that come before it.

Nonetheless, it's still a great scene. The storyline mostly serves to get people to where they need to be so that they can have sex with the next person, but it is very very good at that -- and more surprisingly, most of the situations are relatively plausible.
--Iain Jackson
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Heatstroke
If you were silly enough to want to own just one gay porno film, this would have to be it. After his successful Trilogy, Gage manages to outdo himself with this film set on a Montana ranch. Voyeurism is Gage's specialty, and there's plenty of hot manly sex and men watching each other here. Two men help each other whack off in a peepshow booth after watching porno clips and a female dancer. Clinton Coe watches Casey Donovan's expert blowing of a whole group of guys with the hottest ever dirtytalk overdub. Gage takes on the "no fats or fems" gays emerging in the early 80's, when two men rejected at a sex club wind up having great sex together out back. Then he takes on straight men who have sex with other men with Clay Russell and Richard Locke -- the smirk on Russell's face when Locke responds to his advances with "I don't know, I've never done this before" is priceless, as is Locke's expert cocksucking.

A great soundtrack provided by Man Parrish sets the right tone for each scene -- from the pumped up disco at the Peepshow, to the slow tempo for the seduction of Locke by Russell. And we have the fun cliches -- the old "what are these naked men's pictures doing in my glove compartment" device -- this happens at a drive-in while the men get turned on, then get it on to the sounds of a Kung Fu movie as backdrop! And finally, to top it all off, the orgy. But it has to begin manly-like, right? Two men at the ranch fighting, then the victor (Roy Garrett) on top of the loser (Richard Locke) kisses him passionately -- and all heck breaks out. Passions are finally being released in their proper manner -- unbridled all-male sex.
--BJ
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© 2004 Nightcharm, Inc. All rights reserved. No part or portion may be republished or reprinted in electronic or any other form, in any language, translation, or version, without express permission from Nightcharm, Inc., except brief passages which may be quoted in a review.
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