Nightcharm VideOH! [Dear Brady Anderson]

Conventional thinking would lead you to believe that with a bevy of strapping, athletic, and good-looking men playing baseball, the adult gay film industry would jump on the chance to turn out a few baseball-inspired porn flicks. Nearly every other fetish seems to be covered well by gay erotica. You've got fraternities, older men seducing twinks, football, mechanics, construction workers, and the like. Why not baseball? There are a handful of ball-related flicks; unfortunately most can't even manage a double, much less a single.

The best of the baseball bunch is These Bases Are Loaded (Laguna Pacific, 1983). A very randy gaggle of great looking men gather together in a locker room for an all-out orgy. There are cutaways to various scenes that don't have anything to do with the locker room, but who cares? Every scene sizzles, every man is absolutely into the sex, and the overall impact of the film is stunning.

Sadly, its follow-up, These Bases Are Loaded 2 (Catalina, 1994), didn't catch fire the way the first did. While the sequel features the return of the always hard Jon King (who appeared in the first film), he can't save an otherwise average flick. But if you are a fan of King and you like seeing classic early '80s porn stars in fine form, it's worth renting.

A pair of videos with the same name falls prey to faked cumshots and seemingly staged sex. Hard Ball (Spectrum, 1995) and Hard Ball (In Hand, 1988) both lack a solid cast, decent sex, and substantial baseball-related eroticism. Sure, there are guys in uniforms running around, but simply having guys in baseball jerseys on screen doesn't fetishize baseball. Besides, none of the guys in either of the casts, save for Jon Vincent in the Spectrum release, look like they could actually play ball.

Rites Of Spring (Vivid, 1989) is a classic example of how the public can be duped by a video box cover. The artwork is quite good, and the three men photographed are gussied up in a bountiful amount of baseball gear. But once you actually start watching the video, it quickly becomes clear that the video has next to nothing to do with the box cover, nor baseball for that matter. Strike!

Two recent videos, Playing To Win (Studio 2000, 1997) and Happiness Is A Big Cock (Videospoon, 1999) both harp on baseball, with greatly different approachs. Playing follows closeted baseball player Joshua Sterling (with that all-over tan and cleats that obviously have never seen a playing field) from bedroom to locker room. Technically speaking, the video is fine. There is a solid story with some decent acting here, but the sex is lukewarm. Feel free to fast-foward through most of the tape.

On the other hand, Happiness Is A Big Cock was probably made for a few hundred bucks at best, and it shows. Thankfully, the enthusiasm of some of the performers helps out this production. In Happiness, a college baseball player is flunking out and fears that he may get kicked off the team. Of course, sexual hijinks ensue. Watch for the genuinely hot scene in the gas station bathroom.

The final word: stick with the original and the best, These Bases Are Loaded.

The final grades:

These Bases Are Loaded A
These Bases...Loaded 2 B-
Hard Ball (Spectrum) D
Hard Ball C-
Rites Of Spring C-
Playing To Win C
Happiness Is A Big Cock C+

My name is Zack O'Connor, and I'm one of your biggest fans. Okay, scratch that, I'm not really one of your biggest fans. Let's be honest. I only discovered you because I read your name once on a gay newsgroup, or somewhere on a gay-related webpage. I quickly found out that you, an outfielder for the Baltimore Orioles, "bat for both teams" -- if you get my meaning.

This got me thinking. A baseball player who's gay, or even bisexual? Who knows, it could be a rumor, but it was certainly worth researching. While I didn't find any confirmation, I did find a bevy of photographs of you floating about on the web. I have come to the conclusion that you are definitely one fine specimen of a man -- gay, bi, or straight.

I'm not totally sure how well you play ball, but from what I've read, you are pretty good. I do know that 1996 was your best year since you started playing professionally 10 years ago. That year, you hit 50 home runs, the second most by any player in the league (second only to that damned Mark McGuire, who hit 52). In '96, your batting average was a very swell .297. This year, you aren't faring as hot, but you're still in the game. You have a .289 average going, which is still slightly better than your past two years with the O's.

I know that your middle name is Kevin, and that you were born on January 18, 1964, in Silver Spring, Maryland. You graduated from Carlsbad High School, California, in 1982 with a 3.8 grade point average. You attended the University of California at Irvine, where you studied economics from 1982 -1985. You are 6'1", weigh 202 pounds, and you bat and throw left-handed. In 1997, you guest-starred as yourself on the ABC series "Sabrina The Teenage Witch." You are currently single, and you live in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. You also wear size 11 1/2 shoes (I will try not to think dirty thoughts, really).

You have attracted a devoted following of fans, both gay and straight, male and female. While your straight male fans may be drawn to you because of your skills at baseball, your rabid hetero female and gay male fans worship you for a completely different reason.

I'm still trying to pin down exactly why you have such a large fan base. Is it because of your beyond-built body? Your incredible good looks? The shirtless pictures strewn about the web? Maybe it's because of that great "inspirational" poster (left) where you are photographed in a Bruce Weber-like, highly eroticized black and white shot? Did I mention that you are only wearing skimpy skintight gray shorts and a pair of tennis shoes? (And while the poster is intended to encourage people to play hard and to dedicate themselves to a sport, I certainly found it "inspirational" in more ways than one. What the heck is in your shorts, Brady?)

The webmaster of WHFFBOX, a site dedicated to baseball players and their cups (yes, you read correctly: cups), sums up his fascination with you nicely. "What else to say?" he writes, "And whether his muscles and mass are Creatine-induced or not, seeing his tight ass and biceps in the batter's box, with a slight knock on his box, is enough to send one's *** towards the scoreboard! A package like no other."

Have you thought about creating your own line of workout gear? Perhaps an exercise video? Trust me, the tapes would sell like hotcakes. You could donate a portion of the proceeds to charity via your Brady Anderson Charitable Community Fund. You could easily parlay your hunk status into a cottage industry.

Brady, if you are ever in Los Angeles, or for that matter, anywhere in the Southern California area, drop me a line. I would love to hook up with you and talk baseball. I am not quite sure what I would be talking about, but that's neither here nor there. You can teach me. (You can teach me lots of things. I can't believe I just wrote that.)

Patiently waiting for my official Brady Anderson "inspirational" poster to arrive in the mail...

P.S. One last thing Brady. Did you know that there is supposedly a picture of you clad only in a jockstrap floating around on the web? I've yet to see it. Have you?




	Conventional thinking would lead you to believe that with a bevy of strapping, athletic, and good-looking men playing baseball, the adult gay film industry would jump on the chance to turn out a few baseball-inspired porn flicks. Nearly every other fetish seems to be covered well by gay erotica. You've got fraternities, older men seducing twinks, football, mechanics, construction workers, and the like. Why not baseball? There are a handful of ball-related flicks; unfortunately most can't even manage a double, much less a single. The best of the baseball bunch is These Bases Are Loaded (Laguna Pacific, 1983). A very randy gaggle of great looking men gather together in a locker room for an all-out orgy. There are cutaways to various scenes that don't have anything to do with the locker room, but who cares? Every scene sizzles, every man is absolutely into the sex, and the overall impact of the film is stunning. Sadly, its follow-up, These Bases Are Loaded 2 (Catalina, 1994), didn't catch fire the way the first did. While the sequel features the return of the always hard Jon King (who appeared in the first film), he can't save an otherwise average flick. But if you are a fan of King and you like seeing classic early '80s porn stars in fine form, it's worth renting. A pair of videos with the same name falls prey to faked cumshots and seemingly staged sex. Hard Ball (Spectrum, 1995) and Hard Ball (In Hand, 1988) both lack a solid cast, decent sex, and substantial baseball-related eroticism. Sure, there are guys in uniforms running around, but simply having guys in baseball jerseys on screen doesn't fetishize baseball. Besides, none of the guys in either of the casts, save for Jon Vincent in the Spectrum release, look like they could actually play ball. Rites Of Spring (Vivid, 1989) is a classic example of how the public can be duped by a video box cover. The artwork is quite good, and the three men photographed are gussied up in a bountiful amount of baseball gear. But once you actually start watching the video, it quickly becomes clear that the video has next to nothing to do with the box cover, nor baseball for that matter. Strike! Two recent videos, Playing To Win (Studio 2000, 1997) and Happiness Is A Big Cock (Videospoon, 1999) both harp on baseball, with greatly different approachs. Playing follows closeted baseball player Joshua Sterling (with that all-over tan and cleats that obviously have never seen a playing field) from bedroom to locker room. Technically speaking, the video is fine. There is a solid story with some decent acting here, but the sex is lukewarm. Feel free to fast-foward through most of the tape. On the other hand, Happiness Is A Big Cock was probably made for a few hundred bucks at best, and it shows. Thankfully, the enthusiasm of some of the performers helps out this production. In Happiness, a college baseball player is flunking out and fears that he may get kicked off the team. Of course, sexual hijinks ensue. Watch for the genuinely hot scene in the gas station bathroom. The final word: stick with the original and the best, These Bases Are Loaded. The final grades: These Bases Are Loaded A These Bases...Loaded 2 B- Hard Ball (Spectrum) D Hard Ball C- Rites Of Spring C- Playing To Win C Happiness Is A Big Cock C+		My name is Zack O'Connor, and I'm one of your biggest fans. Okay, scratch that, I'm not really one of your biggest fans. Let's be honest. I only discovered you because I read your name once on a gay newsgroup, or somewhere on a gay-related webpage. I quickly found out that you, an outfielder for the Baltimore Orioles, "bat for both teams" -- if you get my meaning. This got me thinking. A baseball player who's gay, or even bisexual? Who knows, it could be a rumor, but it was certainly worth researching. While I didn't find any confirmation, I did find a bevy of photographs of you floating about on the web. I have come to the conclusion that you are definitely one fine specimen of a man -- gay, bi, or straight. I'm not totally sure how well you play ball, but from what I've read, you are pretty good. I do know that 1996 was your best year since you started playing professionally 10 years ago. That year, you hit 50 home runs, the second most by any player in the league (second only to that damned Mark McGuire, who hit 52). In '96, your batting average was a very swell .297. This year, you aren't faring as hot, but you're still in the game. You have a .289 average going, which is still slightly better than your past two years with the O's. I know that your middle name is Kevin, and that you were born on January 18, 1964, in Silver Spring, Maryland. You graduated from Carlsbad High School, California, in 1982 with a 3.8 grade point average. You attended the University of California at Irvine, where you studied economics from 1982 -1985. You are 6'1", weigh 202 pounds, and you bat and throw left-handed. In 1997, you guest-starred as yourself on the ABC series "Sabrina The Teenage Witch." You are currently single, and you live in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. You also wear size 11 1/2 shoes (I will try not to think dirty thoughts, really). You have attracted a devoted following of fans, both gay and straight, male and female. While your straight male fans may be drawn to you because of your skills at baseball, your rabid hetero female and gay male fans worship you for a completely different reason. I'm still trying to pin down exactly why you have such a large fan base. Is it because of your beyond-built body? Your incredible good looks? The shirtless pictures strewn about the web? Maybe it's because of that great "inspirational" poster (left) where you are photographed in a Bruce Weber-like, highly eroticized black and white shot? Did I mention that you are only wearing skimpy skintight gray shorts and a pair of tennis shoes? (And while the poster is intended to encourage people to play hard and to dedicate themselves to a sport, I certainly found it "inspirational" in more ways than one. What the heck is in your shorts, Brady?) The webmaster of WHFFBOX, a site dedicated to baseball players and their cups (yes, you read correctly: cups), sums up his fascination with you nicely. "What else to say?" he writes, "And whether his muscles and mass are Creatine-induced or not, seeing his tight ass and biceps in the batter's box, with a slight knock on his box, is enough to send one's *** towards the scoreboard! A package like no other." Have you thought about creating your own line of workout gear? Perhaps an exercise video? Trust me, the tapes would sell like hotcakes. You could donate a portion of the proceeds to charity via your Brady Anderson Charitable Community Fund. You could easily parlay your hunk status into a cottage industry. Brady, if you are ever in Los Angeles, or for that matter, anywhere in the Southern California area, drop me a line. I would love to hook up with you and talk baseball. I am not quite sure what I would be talking about, but that's neither here nor there. You can teach me. (You can teach me lots of things. I can't believe I just wrote that.) Patiently waiting for my official Brady Anderson "inspirational" poster to arrive in the mail... P.S. One last thing Brady. Did you know that there is supposedly a picture of you clad only in a jockstrap floating around on the web? I've yet to see it. Have you?